My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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