i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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