True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
