hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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