so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
