im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
