I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
