no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
