apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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