i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
