he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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