The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
