smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
