You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
