Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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