dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
