I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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