I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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