Michael Bay diarrhea
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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