Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
