you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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