We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
