heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
