Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
