Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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