You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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