It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
