Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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