You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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