I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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