"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
