How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
