Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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