Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
His nipple licking is glorious
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