You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
