His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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