I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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