So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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