And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
