im drinking this country out of the recession.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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