I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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