he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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