i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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