Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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