I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
