If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
