omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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