so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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