oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Blood and glitter go together right?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
