I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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